Winning Strategies

Work/Life Balancing Act

It occurred to me during a conversation with a colleague this week that success at home requires focus, creativity and discipline.  Funny that success at the office requires the same traits.  Why is it, then, that we often succeed at work while our home life suffers?  I think it is that we feel more pressure to succeed at work.  We feel the immediate repercussions that we don't so easily see at home.

How can we correct this?

1.  Learn to prioritize home activities the same way that you do work activities.  You wouldn't continually miss a work meeting, would you?  Why are you continually missing dinner with the family or family activities?  Impose self inflicted punishments selected by the family members for missed family appointments.  You may have to run the kids to Walgreens for a small gift or take your spouse on an additional date night during the month.  Eventually, you will stop missing these valuable appointments due to the self inflicted punishments.

2.  Pre-plan activities.  We pre-schedule meetings and calls in advance, why not schedule out your dinner dates for the next 6 months.  Put them on your Outlook calendar.  Invite your spouse.  Schedule one on one outings with your children.  Book family time into your life.  Try it now.  Pull out your Iphone/blackberry/pda device.  Schedule either a date night with your spouse or one on one playdate with your child.  Done.  There- now you are back to step 1- it will be important to keep it.

3.  Evaluate your progress.  We get annual performance reviews, and consistent coaching and feedback at work.  Occassionally you will need to evaluate your home performance.  Christmastime is the perfect time.  Ask your spouse and each child for a list of 3 things that you could do better in 2011 to make you a better Mom/Dad/Wife/Husband.  Take the list without feeling criticized.  Work to incorporate those new items into 2011.  Grade yourself on your 2010 performance.  Ask your family how you are doing (they will grade you lower).  Consistently work towards improvement (just like you do at work).

4.  Be Creative.  You have to travel to several client visits and that is just the way it is.  Well, is it?  Maybe you could take your family with you on 2-3 trips in 2011.  Be creative.  Try to mix and mingle family and work commitments.  Consider including your spouse on a work dinner event once or twice a year.  Take your child to work with you a few times a year if they are old enough.  Creatively involve your family in your life.  Yes, it takes planning, creativity and discipline, but the rewards far outweigh the work involved to plan and follow through.

With creativity, persistence, planning and rigidity, you can balance this act.  You can change your family life for the better in 2011.   Someday those kids will be all grown up- - - and if you aren't careful, you will be living with regret .  Live your life free of regret.  Get Planning! 

The Plight of Single Moms- How You Can Help

There is an alarming number of single moms raising their children alone. Many of them are doing this without any kind of financial support. They are working, caring for their children and managing all of their responsibilities alone. Can you imagine what a day in their shoes feels like?

You probably work in a company, attend a church service or school where you know several of these single moms. They will never admit it, but the road is hard. Even if the finances work themselves out, there is an emotional drain that occurs when you are the main source of emotional support for your children. It is a hard and harrowing road.

I'm asking each of you to consider doing something special for one of these single moms. Consider leaving her a gift card from anonymous. Think about leaving an encouraging note or a cooked dinner for her to take home. If she reports to you, consider give her an extra day off or two. (Same message for the single dads- it is rough no matter the gender). Invite a single parent to your house for a home cooked dinner (tell them to bring the kids).

These moms (and single dads) are raising the children that will run our schools, our government and our world. They are our future. We turn our heads and pretend that we don't really see them. We go through our days unknowingly refusing to admit to ourselves the dire struggles that they may be facing. Open up your eyes. Dare to see the truth hidden in their eyes. Dare to care.

I know my readers have hearts of gold. I know you are a caring bunch. Reach out and touch a life close to you.

Many of you know that I struggled as a single mom for years. One year, I got up on Christmas morning and headed to the tree. It was (another) very tight year financially. I hadn't been able to buy much at all for Heather. I was dreading Christmas morning. My neighbors had somehow broke into the house and filled my tree with presents. 'Santa' had visited my house. Someone made our morning!

I tear up thinking about how much hope I felt and how much resilience I received from that blessing. Bless someone around you this year. They will remember it always. Heather was four years old that Christmas- I'm talking to you today about an event that still moves me to tears that happened 18 years ago.

Go bless someone around you this season. It will change their perspective and have a positive impact on your life and theirs.

Happily Ever After...

When I was a little  girl, my best friend Annette Weber and I would play make believe.  We would dream of handsome princes riding away with us on beautiful white horses.   We daydreamed often and daily.   We daydream so little as we get older, and we stop trying to shape our lives into Happily Ever After...but I believe that with effort, you can change your life for the better.  You can create your own fairy tale.

At a speaking event the other day, a woman stopped my speech for a moment.  She said, "I've had an 'AHA' moment.  You are suggesting that we stop and evaluate our lives the same way I stop and evaluate a project once I've completed it at work.  I love it.  What an incredible idea."

If you do dream of a 'happily ever after' - what does it look like?  How would you slowly start stepping towards it?  It is fun to talk to small children.  They still believe in the wonder of the world, and the beauty of its promises.  Somehow, as the years pass, we become tainted by pains of the world and disapointments, and we lose track of our dreams and stop seeing the wonder of it all.

I challenge you to see the world through the eyes of a young child.  Look at it with wonder and amazement.  See it as the big beautiful land of opportunity that it is.  Never stop believing in 'Happily Ever After'.  I believe it is a reality.

 

What If?

I talk to so many of you and you are stuck in 'what if' thought dilemmas. You wonder what it would be like if you hadn't lost (insert name of job, relationship, or valuable item here). You think through how your life would be if you hadn't had cancer, didn't have to deal with an aging parent, or didn't have a sick child, joblessness, or a bad childhood. I understand that you'd like to change your circumstances.

Start by understanding that all your 'what if' musings stem from a basic feeling that you (probably) don't like something about your current life situation. Everyone dislikes something about their current life situation.

Your goal is to focus your energy and thought processes on what you do like. Your goal is to focus ALL your energy and attention on what you CAN change. Make every piece of your life that you can change the best that it can be. Live in the moment. Appreciate life for its' many blessings. Muse over the wonder of your heart beating or the amazing wonder of a child developing in a woman's belly.

Find something in nature to be amazed at. Wonder at pieces of your world, your health and your life that are simply great. Be thankful for the 'what was's' that have happened and blessed you tremendously.

How about this 'what if'? What if from this day forward, you lived your life in gracious amazement for all you have been given and for all your many blessings? What if you daily gave thanks for these blessings and found life to be more abundant and amazing than you ever felt possible? And 'what if' it was there all the time- and it was simply a matter of perspective?

WHAT IF?
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Your Own Serene Retreat- Own a Beautiful Island in Houghton Lake Michigan

My uncle is selling his beautiful house and land in Houghton Lake, Michigan.  The house is sitting on 20 acres of beautiful land, complete with a lake, covered bridge,  horse barn, and woods all around.

Find a serene escape from the city and retreat away to the beautiful countryside.

Link:  http://www.realtor.com/realestateandhomes-detail/9910-East-Houghton-Lake-Drive_Houghton-Lake_MI_48629_M32516-05678

• 
• 
• 
• 

 

 

An Unhealthy Pace

Rushing around, always behind
Skip a meal here
Run run run
No time to stop, you are in a bind

No time to break for
Bathroom visits
You're in a rush---Go go go
No time to eat you've almost got it

Is it really worth it?
The pace that you are running
Is the goal really worth
The habits you are condoning?

No no no
It isn't worth it at all
Take a deep breath
Breathe breathe breathe

Imagine a sirene river with beautiful trees
Exhale with your eyes closed tight
You've got no one but your own concience to please
Stop and start in a different mode

Think slowly, act decisively
Slow slow slow
The important stuff will still get done
I know, I've seen it happen a hundred times one

 

Written for the hundreds of women that write in to me regulary.  Take a moment to rethink your priorities.

 

Bethany Williams

Happy 50th Anniversary Mom and Dad

November 20th marks the 50th wedding anniversary for my parents, Jim and Elois.

 
I was excited to have them here with us in Texas, here in person to celebrate this momentous occasion.  Less than 20% of couples make it to 50 years of marriage.  It is a rarity. 

I feel blessed.  I was able to celebrate this day with my parents.  We enjoyed a beautiful dinner out at Maggianos in Plano.  Congratulations Mom and Dad.  We love you very very much.

 
 

Congratulations Mom and Dad.  We love you.

All That We Have to Be Thankful For

I glance at the front page of the Wall Street Journal and I'm struck by the heart wrenching stories of the women in Afghanistan that are willing to light themselves on fire- hoping to escape a life of abuse, forced marriage, and dire circumstances.

Have you ever touched a hot stove and experienced the pain of a burn while smelling the horrible smell of burnt flesh? Can you imagine the pain of having your whole body on fire? Can you imagine purposefully lighting your whole body on fire? My heart is saddened by the realization of what these women are facing.

Are you taking your freedom and blessings for granted? Give thanks today for all that you have, all the freedoms you enjoy, and the respect and choices that you enjoy.

ABC World News Exclusive: The Secret Shelters That Protect Afghan Women

http://abcnews.go.com/WN/Afghanistan/abused-women-afghanistan-helped-secret-shelters/story?id=10074409

Topics of Discussion

It's that time of the year! The holidays are approaching and it is nearing the busiest time of the year.

What topics would you enjoy reading about? Send in your topic ideas....I'm waiting to hear from you.

Mission Trip 2011- Egypt?

As we evaluate our prioritites and plan our thoughts around next year, we decide to consider a mission trip to Egypt in 2011.   I am a bit aghast that it has been soooo long since I've been on a mission trip, and I consider how amazingly blessed I have been through the last several years because of the perspective that I gained while visiting Africa and experiencing life in a third world country.  I want to share that perspective with my children.  If they could see first hand and understand that everything that they have is an amazing blessing, maybe they could find joy in even the smallest of things here in the states.  We go through life completely missing the blessings surrounding us, because our perspective is tainted. 

We have never had to miss a week's worth of meals, or wear the same article of clothing for weeks on end.  Most of us have never had to struggle for access to clean water, or wonder how we will survive another day.  We have been blessed beyond belief, yet are blinded by our own lack of knoweldge. 

I aim to (hopefully) take the family on a mission trip in 2011.  I aim to add perspective into our lives in a way that will reasonate with us for years to come.  I hope to continue to keep perspective- adding joy into our lives because of the creation of knowledge of what is going on in the rest of the world.  I can only hope that they can learn to be happy with what they have, not spending their lives seeking 'what they don't have'.