Winning Strategies

Thoughts Abuzz

My thoughts are abuzz with visions of the new year. What will it hold? I think over the current year and sigh over the flurry of activity and the blur of busyness from healthcare reform and businesses reeling from the recession. My mind wanders to the people that I met in Africa a few years ago and the women that have read my books in India and around the world.

I think of the awesome opportunity that I had to meet the branding crew for Oprah Winfrey and the two near chances that I had to be on her show.

My mind journeys to the diversity groups that I've presented to this year and the single mom from one speech that cried when she asked how to get it all done without feeling guilty.

What a super wonderful year it has been. My daughter got engaged, graduated college, and is now having a baby. My middle son got his drivers license and his first car. My youngest boy started middle school. My second book published and I did 8 speaking events this year. Michael and I vacationed in Bora Bora and later in the year we took the kids to Costa Rica for family time. What a fabulous year we have had!

Think through your year, reminisce and be thankful for all the blessings that you have. Think about your yearly 'Highs'. Run through the year like a movie playing in your head. We don't spend enough time thinking through where we've been. It is an important place to start. It is a precursor to 2011 planning.
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New Year- New You

The new year is upon us.  It is only a few days away.  I try to spend a portion of time in this last week of the year thinking about what I want the new year to look like for me- personally and professionally.  Every action starts with a thought.  With each thought you can create action items and 'To Dos'.  In order to live the life you are destined to live, you will begin to think about what that life looks like for you.

Think Think Think
What does the life you want look like?  What could you revise from this year that would make your life better next year?  Knowing that each day is a gift, how can you spend your gift better next year?  It isn't about what other people want for you.  It is about what you want for yourself.  It is about defining new goals (reachable goals, slow and steady, not insurmountable goals) and striving towards them.

Define what 'It' is
Write it down.  Define what it is that you want out of your life in 2011.  It could be simple goals, like more peace, more solitude, more serenity.  It could be action goals, like bike riding, water skiing, or hot air ballooning.  It could be frienship goals, like enhance your friendships, be a better friend, find a new friend.  It could be relationship goals, like improve your relationships by spending date nights together, etc etc.  Write it down.  It will be easier to stick with it if you can define it.

Make it Happen
Alright, I know, it isn't easy.  But accept that YOU are the one that CAN MAKE IT HAPPEN.  Yes, you can.  It is you.  You are driving the bus that is your life and your destination.  You absolutely control your path and the roads that you take.  Get on the right road for you and begin taking steps in the direction that define the path that you want to be on and the life that you want to live.  I know you can do it.

Get ready for 2011.

Try on a New Role

You take on roles as parents, you may be the disciplinarian, the wage-earner, the sympathizer, the nag, the sports advisor, or any of hundreds of other roles that we take on. During this last week of the year, I challenge you to take on a new role. If you are usually the work-a-lot wage earner- take a couple days to be the stay home and play with the kids parent. Force yourself off your blackberry or I-phone and spend 100% of your attention on your kids for a day or two.

It will feel foreign. It will feel out-of-sorts. Decide to make a meal from scratch, bake a cake, or go to the batting cages. Whatever you decide to do, make it something you wouldn't normally do. Break out of your mold and surprise your spouse and/or kids. I can't wait to hear the results.
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Nicholas Kristof interview about the CARE network and the plight of women around the world

See his short interview (only 7minutes) on YouTube:

Then go to www.can.care.org and see how you can help. We each can make a difference.

The Celebration of the Ages

Today a grand celebration is occurring around the world as we celebrate Christmas Day. It is mind boggling to realize the fanfare and celebration that occurs on this most prepared for and celebrated holiday. Songs herald the birth of our Saviour, and we gather round loved ones and spend time celebrating the most famous birth ever.

I know some don't believe, but I find the proof overwhelming. What other famous man that has ever lived has the whole world celebrating his birth with great fanfare year after year after year for hundreds of years after his birth? Josh McDowell talks about the evidence in his book Evidence that Demands a Verdict (http://www.amazon.com/Evidence-Demands-Questions-Challenging-Christians/dp/0785242198/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1293334330&sr=1-1).

On this very special day, I wish you and your family the happiest and best Christmas ever. Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!
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Thank you to all of my Readers in 2010!

Thank you to all my readers for making my blogging such a fun and enjoyable journey.  This blog wouldn't exist if it weren't for a very many of you that log on to get encouragement and advice.  I appreciate each one of you.

I recently read a blog from a friend of mine, John Self, and decided to take his lead on thanking his readership  (find his blog at http://healthcarevoice.typepad.com/healthcare_voice/).

I am continually astounded by the numbers of people that log onto the blog and I enjoy the emails and comments that I receive.  It is a journey of daily discovery that I find both fun and exciting.  I learn from all of you and together we have journeyed together through 2010.  As 2010 comes to a close, I look forward to another year of opportunity.  I have set my sights on a year of encouragement and new discoveries.

What are you dreaming of for 2011?  Have you begun to wonder what the new year could entail for you?  Have you begun setting small goals and defining steps that you can take to move yourself forward in areas that you'd like to advance?

Here are some suggestions to add to your calendar somewhere in 2011:

• Get a professional photo taken for your bio.  Yes you need one.  If you haven't yet written a bio, then schedule a time on your calendar to do so.  Put this html link on the calendar entry to give yourself some ideas:  http://workbloom.com/blog/career-advancement/your-bio/
• Schedule some fun activities.  Yes you need time to do something other than work or kids.  For inspiration, read this article:  http://workbloom.com/blog/lifestyle/juggling-kids-and-work/
• Think about creating the life you've always dreamed of.  Yes you can do it.  Find an article on the cover of my web site:  www.bethanywilliams.org

Again, thank you for being a part of the journey.  Wishing you and yours a very happy end of 2010.

Hugs,

 

Bethany

 

 

Press Release: New book provides strategies for parents on successfully mentoring teenagers to adulthood

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:

From Mother to Mentor and Father to Coach: Mentoring Your Children Through the Rough Preteen and Teenage Years by Bethany Williams applies managerial strategies to tough parenting situations

DALLAS – From Mother to Mentor and Father to Coach: Mentoring Your Children Through the Rough Preteen and Teenage Years by Bethany Williams offers guidance for parents looking to take a more strategic approach to raising their children during the most difficult years.

According to Williams, a mother of three and successful executive, parents expend more effort planning and applying strategy in the workplace than in child-rearing, even though parents consider the wellbeing of their children to be more important. In this book, Williams applies her experience from the business world to the home by introducing business logic and long-term strategic planning to child-rearing. Weaving personal narrative with case studies gleaned from hundreds of executives, she aims to help readers develop better problem-solving skills and an ability to connect authentically with their teenagers. 

“We plan diligently for projects at work, carefully plotting out each action point required to achieve success,” says Williams. “In our personal lives, we do much less, expecting our children to complete the path to independent adulthood with little planning and foresight.”

Williams lays out keys to successful parenting including how to react to problem situations, minimize conflict and maintain positive relationships. She claims that this strategy can help parents transition from a traditional adversarial role during the teenage years to one of  a mentor for the child well into their  adulthood.

From Mother to Mentor and Father to Coach: Mentoring Your Children Through the Rough Preteen and Teenage Years is available for sale online at Amazon.com and other channels.

About the Author

Bethany is an inspirational author who has mentored hundreds of professionals and helped them increase their pay and earn status in the workplace.  Williams is a results-oriented executive with 25 years experience driving complex initiatives in business, including New Business Development and New Market Launches. An executive in a big four accounting firm, she was named one of the top 25 “Women to Watch” by the Dallas Business Journal in July of 2010. Williams is an accomplished speaker and has spoken at a variety of events for organizations including JP Morgan Chase, Raytheon, Women in Technology International (WITI), The National Charity League,  The Junior League, Southern Methodist University and the University of North Texas. She has raised a daughter to adulthood and is currently raising two teenage sons with her husband, Michael, in Dallas.

MEDIA CONTACT:

E-mail:                         midhya@bethanywilliams.org      

Phone:                         (972) 757-6730

Web:                www.bethanywilliams.org

 

REVIEW COPIES AND INTERVIEWS AVAILABLE

 

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Sometimes its Tough

Often I write on the plight of single moms, which are often overlooked by all of us- but today I will write on mothering/fathering a child that has lost his/her other parent.

Regardless of whether you've remarried or not, often you have to be both mother and father, helping them through their emotional struggles and helping them to deal with life. They have been rocked to the core and it leaves a tenderness, a soft cushion inside of them. As a parent in this circumstance, it is heart wrenching. You want to fill the hole left in them, but cannot. You want to make the path easier, but reality is that it is a rough path.

They don't talk about their hurt all the time, but when they do it rips your heart out. It is like walking through life with an 80 pound weight on your back. You never quite forget it's there, and sometimes it can be a daily struggle.

So, how do we survive this life burden? I think we try 3 things- give it over to God, love the child unconditionally, and help them to know that we are always there for them. They need to be reminded often that we love them. We are the only parent now to build them up and positively feed their self esteem.

Best wishes
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Keep Your Eyes on the Windshield

We find ourselves struggling with doubts and regrets.  We wonder if we should have taken a different role, not taken time off to raise kids, rethinking our educational journey, and generally we just question many of the decisions in our life.

Life moves forward better if we can focus on the windshield, not the rear view mirror.  It is best to evaluate the direction that you'd like to go, and begin mapping out a path to get there.  The rear view mirror doesn't matter when it comes to getting to your goals.  Focusing on what is ahead of you is both vitally important and crucial in order to achieve.

What do you dream of doing?  What things do you love to do?  What would it take to get you there?  It can be a slow journey.  School or retraining isn't out of the question just because you are X years old.  People are working later in life.  Wouldn't you like to work at something that you love to do rather than waste away doing something that you do not like to do?

Write down your jumbled thoughts:
Write down some ramblings.  They don't have to make sense.  Write down scattered mumbo jumbo that comes to mind when you think of dreaming.  It could be something like this:

interacting with people,  painting, quiet solitude of a lake,

Remember, it isn't about your ramblings making sense.  It is about drawing out of your inner being exactly what you think about and find pleasant.  From your ramblings over a period of time, you will see the things that you like.  From that, you should get vocation ideas.

Never stop dreaming:
I encourage you to dream.  It is never too late to live as much of your passions as you can.  They may look different now.  If you always wanted to be a dancer and were forced to quit when you had your first child, you may think of teaching dance now.  Put yourself as close to your dreams and what you like to do as you can.

Focus on the windshield and map yourself a path forward.

Are You a Parent of a Teenager? Then Your role is Changing- Like it or Not...

You are household CEO, and chief captain of your house.  You know how to get things accomplished and 'manage the household activities' as well as facilitating the school activities, chores, cooking, and laundry.  Suddenly, your household has erupted with fights and arguments with your teenager.  They no longer want to be under your control.  They don't want to follow your orders/commands.  They want to do their chores at their own time.

It is time to move your role into a mentor and coach.  You know what they are going to face as they grow into adulthood, and you need to begin preparing them for their future.  In a few years, they will be on their own, managing their own household and taking care of  their own chores.  As you slowly begin to give them more responsibilties and rights, you will slowly back away and 'coach' them as they fail, allowing them to gently 'fall' while under your roof.  You are training them for adulthood.  By creating a strategic growth plan for their independence, you move them towards their future life.

For details on changing your role to mentor and coach, download the kindle or ibook version of my latest book on amazon or Apple ibook or buy the printed copy from a bookstore near you. 

Amazon:  http://amzn.to/eW7AuX

I have mapped out  guided examples of templates that slowly build as the age of your child changes.

Each year they get added responsibilities and rights.  Each year they move closer to independence and managing their own budgets, chores, household responsibilities and earnings.  Does that scare you?  Does it strike fear into you to think of your teenager on their own in 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 years?  Will they be ready?  It is our responsibility to help them to be ready.

More to come...