Winning Strategies

For Those That Have Lost a Loved One

I write this post in memory of the loved ones we've lost.  I think of the critical members of our lives that have left us.  I  feel a sharp pain in my heart as I think of those in my life, and struggle with feelings that I will never really have what I had when they were alive.

This song by Dolly Parton is an amazing one.  I hope that today, it helps you to reminensce about loved ones that have gone before, and helps you to remember all that they were to you in your life.

 

Life Can Change in an Instant

I sit at my desk and try to concentrate on the work before me.  It all seems like a blur of words and computer images.  My mind is floating. 

 In an instant, in a second in time, your life can change.  I drift back to Jeff's motorcycle accident and think about the course of events that began with that fateful moment that ended his life on Dec 15, 1995.  I now think of his mother, Lucille Carter, lying in a hospital, fighting the stroke that has forever changed her body and her life.

I drift to my sweet baby girl that is getting ready to get married and I , in my mind, picture her a young girl- like in this photo, clinging to her mother and hoping that I can remove pain.

As we enter this Thanksgiving week.  Be thankful for all that you have been given.  Hug those that you love as if you will never hold them again.  Affirm those around you and leave no words unspoken.  Today is your day to LIVE LIFE to the fullest.  Recognize that today is a gift- a precious gift.

Find Thanksgiving in your heart and time to think of all the things that you are grateful for.  Happy week of Thanksgiving.

 

Remembering 911

As the 10th anniversary dawns of the attacks on the US, we each pause to think on where we were that fateful day.

It seemed like a normal day. I rose at the crack of dawn and drove to the airport. I was commuting to Seattle to help run a company that had been acquired by IDX. The flight was a four 1/2 hour flight, but I was more than prepared with work and reading materials to keep me engaged for the duration. I had made this trip on a regular basis.

About 2 hours into the flight, the pilot announced that we would be turning around and heading back to Dallas. No info was given and we were left with pure speculation. At some point in our descent, my cell phone began to work and I made a call out to a friend that filled me in on the happenings. I shared the info with the startled flight attendants and other passengers. DFW airport was shut down, and we sat on the runway for hours- sitting in shock- wanting to hug those we loved and wishing we could get off the plane.

On this weekend of remembrance, I pause, remembering all that we lost and thinking on those that lost their lives on that fateful day.

Fleeting Memories of Lost Ones

I watched the motorcycle ahead of me drive alongside the car in front of me. My mind whisked away to the far distant past- the man on the bike was a look alike for my deceased husband- Jeff. My breath caught in my throat and for that moment I missed him so terribly.

I watched the motorcycle pull away and turn. People die- but the impact that they had on our lives- the ways that they made us feel loved and cared for---that lives on in our hearts. This moment is dedicated to all those we've lost and loved. We miss you.

The News- Sad Stories that Leave Us Stunned

It has been a difficult time in Rowlett Texas of late.  It seems that news of sad stories just keep rolling our way.  I'm saddened by the stories that have rocked our little town.

Mayor of Coppell and daughter found dead, both shot in the head- an apparent murder/suicide: http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504083_162-20010539-504083.html

Rowlett Judge killed by her Husband in murder/suicide:  http://therockwallnews.com/2010/0622/crime/judge-3

I'm saddened to hear of people that feel that killing themselves and others is the only answer to their struggles.

The greatest gift I feel that I've ever been given was a trip to Ghana Africa on mission.  I found there that, really, we can live with nothing.  The bums that live on the streets in California have been more blessed than many of the people that I met in Africa.  They have access to food, shelter, health care, and sewage drainage.  We can live WITHOUT more than we have ever considered.  Love is the greatest gift in our life.  Our family and friends will still love us if we have nothing.  They will stand by us if we must lose it all- our marriages, our houses, our jobs.....the worst that can happen in our lives is still better than us giving up.  I also hurt for Jayne and her daughter.  They had lost a husband and a father.  I know the pain of grief, and my heart is saddened to think of the grief stricken pair.  If you feel that desolate, if you have lost someone close to you- - there are places that you can get counseling that WILL HELP.  It doesn't mean that you are weak, and it doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with you.  Heather and I spent a significant amount of time in counseling to learn to deal with the grief of losing Jeff.  Time does heal these wounds.  It will help.

Maybe we should 'meddle' a little more in our friends lives.  Maybe we should ask difficult questions so that we know when they need help.  Maybe we are so focused on our own lives that we are missing opportunities to bless others.  Today I think of Judge Belinda Loveland, Richard Loveland, Jayne Peters, Corinne Peters, and Belinda and Richard's son Dustin as well as the family of Jayne and Corrinne Peters.  My thoughts are with you and I'm so very sorry for your pain and loss.  I hope that we all learn to live life a little more with our eyes wide open-- -more aware of the present and the needs of others.

If I can help you in any way, please email me via my web site.  Even if I don't know you- I want to help.  www.bethanywilliams.org

Any of us can make a difference in someone's life.  I challenge you to try.

Dealing with Death

When we lose someone, it rocks us to the core.  It hurts, and life seems to stand still.  It is almost like the earth stops moving for a period of time.  Eventually when we aren't looking, the earth starts moving again.  Slowly we try to move back into our routine and hope that the pain slowly dissipates.  For all those that have lost someone....this post is for you.

From the Grave

Tender Love
So unique, so strong
A love that keeps burrowing on

Forever there
Forever still
Loving us from beyond

Life is Short

“Strange is our situation here upon earth. Each of us comes for a short visit, not knowing why, yet sometimes seeming to a divine purpose. From the standpoint of daily life, however, there is one thing we do know: That we are here for the sake of others...for the countless unknown souls with whose fate we are connected by a bond of sympathy.   Many times a day, I realize how much my outer and inner life is built upon the labors of people, both living and dead, and how earnestly I must exert myself in order to give in return as much as I have received.”   Albert Einstein

A Great Legacy

All day long after writing the post on building a legacy, I've been thinking of my grandmother Beth.  She built an incredible legacy.  Although she died several years ago, she made a huge impression on the world that still resonates today in the hearts and minds of the many people that she touched in Roscommon Michigan and beyond.

She had a way with kids.  She hand made puppets and taught story time at Markey Baptist Church in Houghton Lake, Michigan.  She was an incredible story teller.  Her eyes would glisten and her voice fluctuate and you would believe that you were there in the story and that it was unfolding right before your eyes.  She was an uneducated woman, never went past the 8th grade.  You would have never known by the way that she could tell a story.

She loved her husband Edgar, and spent over 50 years married to him until he preceded her in death.  She raised four children of her own (Norma Jean, Anna Elois, Edgar Jr, and Bruce) as well as adopting a special needs child (George Lucas).

Today I'm thinking of a blind friend of mine in Las Cruces New Mexico, Paul Sealing, that I use to read to when I lived in Michigan.  He still misses my Grandma as do I.  She touched his life in a special way.  She also touched my life in a special way.  I miss you Grandma.

Today I applaud the legacy of Grandma Elizabeth and the amazing life that she led.  In memory....

Big Problems...

A boy in the highschool at Brandon's school took his own life. Heather had a classmate that did the same.  Do you remember the stress and strain of being a teenager?  It seemed like each problem was the one that put you over the edge.  The problems felt like they'd never go away.  The world seemed so small and your problems so big.  It felt like you were all alone, and that no one could ever understand what you were facing.  It was a lonely  feeling.

We grow up and we'd like to think that we have a better handle on our problems.  We'd like to believe that we are more balanced and our maturity holds us through the rough problems that we face, the financial difficulties, joblessness, marriage and relationship problems, and issues with kids.  I dare say that our maturity increases, but we still face problems that sometimes knock us off our feet.

I talk to many of you.  Some of you think your outlook is dismal.  I want you to envision a way out of your dismal situation.  I want you to imagine that your problems subside and that things get much better than they are today.  If you are grieving, I want you to envision the day that it doesn't hurt so much.  Because you know what?  Things will get better.  The world will look differently in a few days, weeks, months.  I know. 

My heart cries out for these teenagers that are suffering in silence.  My deepest wish is that we as adults figure out a way to solve the dispair that they feel.  Is it knowledge? Is it compassion?  What is the answer?

Hope can live in all of us.  It is a feeling that we can capture and feed.  We have but one life.  Each day we are spending a part of that gift.

My thoughts and prayers go out to the family of the boy who died. 

Hundreds Gather to Mourn the loss of a Great Surgeon, A great man, and a hero of Scoliosis Research

Hundreds gathered at Saint Michael and All Angels Episcopal Church in Dallas this morning at 10am to mourn the loss of a hero of Scoliosis Surgery, teaching, and research: Dr Alexis Paul Shelokov, June 19, 1954- August 3, 2009.

The air was quiet and the seats were all full.  Some stood on the outer regions of the room, with no more seats left to fill.  The music played and we listened to stories of his life, his accomplishments, and the amazing heart of a man that to us, was a hero.

From the pulpit, the preacher encouraged the group:
"His legacy continues on through the physicians that he has trained and taught.  He gave many their life back so that they could live a normal life, and contribute their gifts to the world.

A word to Nicholas and Laura.  Alexis loved you very much...

Every time you take a breath, it is a reminder that your life is a gift from God...

What happens when you die?  The medical teams will say that you 'expire'... the breath of God has been breathed into you...each breath is a reminder of that gift.

A poet once said,  Earth is the beginning, Death is the destination and Life is the Journey to eternal life.  This eternal life is through Jesus Christ.  We know that Alexis is in heaven with God.

What we have is for the moment.  Life is short and must be given back.  So, we give Alexis back to God.  A famous songwriter once said,  "Some of us live, Some of us die, some day God will tell us why.""

Today we mourn the loss of a hero in scoliosis surgery.  Those of us that have been given back our life because of what Dr Shelokov's gifted hands were able to do in the surgical suite will never forget the man that changed our lives forever.

In loving memory, Dr Alexis Shelokov   June 19, 1954-August 3, 2009.  Rest in eternal peace.